Tired eyes drifting into mine
I couldn’t take your sky blue eyes
God, they felt like a sunrise
It was the kindest hue I had seen in some time.
I tried to ask the obvious
And you would keep my gaze and smile
My tongue would freeze because I already knew
That our interlocked fingers had been still for a while.
I was so glad that I met you
But the clocks reflected my mind
A tick-tock reminder
That I was still filled with trauma
Like some twisted karmic trial.
Flooded by my own emotions
I choked on my breath
A show of hands, a sign of grace
I really felt it all when I saw your face.
So I proceeded with caution
Scared to whisper my emotional debt
In case it would eventually cause our death.
Back then I was a little needy
For trust and affection
All because of being jaded by a twisted soul
Who let me love without direction.
And that’s when our light hit blue
I ran from us, from you
Because all I have ever known was to be used.
And that’s not how I want it to be
To feel I must choose only one side of me
I am more than my traumatic entities
More than just a wardrobe of past insanity.
I hope you see this and it makes you feel
Because you drive me to be
Still, quiet and real
No bullshit, no lines
I just think I needed some time.
To gather my thoughts and my peace of mind.
Self-reflection has always been my best friend
And now that I really do love myself again
Would you be willing to put in your time
And see where this ends?
Kyra Edwards 